I changed my mind about this performance until the moment that I started- which seems to be a trend for me. I was struggling with the idea of being naked in front of everyone in class completely sober... but knew that I wanted to do it because it would be therapeutic for me (more on this in a bit).
I had played with the idea of glueing googley eyes to my body hair, mostly thinking about the video that would follow the live performance, but decided to do this instead. I was happy that I chose to set up in front of the window, because I think that it provided the best light for the tone I was trying to create, and reflected off of the glitter well. I wish I would have had some kind of gooey substance to rub myself down with first so that the glitter would have stayed on better- I realized this during the performance and was annoyed with myself for not paying attention to detail.
I had also thought about the idea of going through my morning routine from high school in front of the mirrors- stepping on and off of a scale in eight different outfits, spinning and squishing and taking pictures of every little imperfection for hours before school.
I had a pretty severe eating disorder during those days. I won't mention numbers because I don't want to trigger anyone, but it was severe. I had also thought about using paint or the red glitter as a hint to the self harm that happened during those days... I don't know if I want to continue to create art about this though.
I liked that people interpreted the performance as self love. I like that interpretation much better than what I had intended to convey. I think I will change a lot of things for the video performance- it may end up being completely different.